The tool

Ok. So it took me a while to find what I was looking for.
First I meditated (to still the mind)
Then I created the Primary (I have the tool to help people)
Then I went about my day, integrating reading (to feed the mind and soul)
After several weeks I have the answer.
Integral Life Practice.
This is the tool that will help each person evolve.
When someone triggers us it’s a lesson from your higher self to evolve.
You diplomatically inform the trigger.
The trigger can integrate WITH you OR take their triggers to the next person waiting to be woken up.
Here are the 12 core values of integrally informed grown ups.

12 Core Values of Integral Relationship Evolutionaries:

1. We choose to love, instead of something that happens to us or that we attract.
2. We see the depth of our heart and soul connection as well as the level of humility and devotion to our relationship as an indicator of our psychological health and spiritual realization.
3. We transcend our primary fantasy and base our relationship in Being values, versus material, sexual, or emotional neediness.
4. We use our relationship for ongoing mutual learning, healing, growth and awakening towards the capacity to love unconditionally.
5. We hold an evolutionary perspective and have reached or strive towards an integral, transpersonal or higher level of consciousness.
6. We continually develop, balance and harmonize our healthy feminine and masculine polarities and meet each other as opposites and equals to create synergy at the level of all the seven chakras.
7. We share a purpose for our relationship which is larger than either individual and is offered in service for the greatest good of the largest number of people.
8. We have an Integral Life Practice (ILP) with modules for the health of our body, mind, spirit/soul, and shadow, as well as ethics, sexuality, work, emotions, and relationships.
9. We make an explicit agreement to tell/listen-to each other’s truths without the need for validation or acceptance from our partner, and to own our emotional reactions to our partner’s reality.
10. We set and respect each other’s healthy boundaries.
11. We share material resources and pursue an environmentally and socially responsible lifestyle.
12. We engage in sacred/tantric sexuality and practice monogamy out of choice instead of fear.

(c) Martin Ucik. Permission to use with reference to the author and this website.
http://www.integralrelationship.com/